From the Mind of: Tonya D. Floyd

John Mayer sings, "Fathers, be good to your daughters.  Daughters will love like you do.  Girls become lovers who turn into mothers, so fathers be good to your daughters too."  It got me to thinking about how kids pick up tendencies from their parents--both voluntarily and involuntarily--and how we girls tend to pattern our love lives and relationships depending on our relationships with our own fathers.  I've even heard people say over the years, "You can tell she didn't grow up with her father around," and I sort of started observing different women and young women I know to see just how affected we really can be.  Well, based on my calculations and observations, it's all true.  Fathers play a significant role in formulating girls' approaches and attitudes toward relationships with men. 
 
Think about it; what do they see you do?  How do they see you treat women?  Do you "honor them as the weaker vessel," do you dote on your woman, respect your mother, show affection, or do you treat them as if they're toys, or do you rely on them way more than any man should depend on a woman, as if they are only there for your whims and to serve?  I mean, there's a list of behaviors any young woman would frown upon, or develop as her own way of life simply based on how you, her first male role model, regard her mother and other women she looks up to.  Then there's the saying that a girl will grow up to marry a man just like her daddy.  Well, for some that's a really scary thought.  Color me bitter, but I have my own opinions of a few very specific fathers, and based on what I've seen, things would have been a whole lot different if "Daddy" had just done the right thing instead of his own thing.
 
That's not to say mothers don't have a high burden of responsibility toward their sons or their daughters.  And it doesn't mean I believe all the responsibility for how anybody turns out falls on who bore them, but we spend about 18 years learning our ways and beliefs from those we share a roof with and those we are in constant close contact with, so naturally our blueprint for moral code, values, and interpersonal tendencies are shaped for us before we begin to really think for ourselves.  After that, we're pretty much on our own.  I'm just saying....
 
I'm convinced that God had certain ideas of how each parent should be responsible for sculpting children into whole individuals, with specific aspects coming from each direction.  Some of us are even fortunate enough to get at least one parent with good sense and a good sense of personal responsibility too.  Some of us are not as fortunate.  But at your age, at this point in your life, you've seen enough and learned enough to know what you do and don't want your kids to inherit, so don't be an idiot.  For real.

---

Posted at: 04:20 PM | Add Comment

0 Comments

Add Comment

Your Name: (Required)

Comment:

Please enter the 4 to 6 character security code:

(This is to prevent automated comments.)