Patience! Mercy.
January 25, 2012
Okay, all jokes aside, I'm not into patience. But apparently God has a sense of humor and demands that I learn it despite myself. Yeah, yeah the scriptures are swirling around in my head and stuff but that doesn't change a thing right this minute. I just wanna pay my bills on time, feed my kids, go out and play sometimes, take a trip, and normal grownup stuff like working folks should, by myself. I'm about $5000 from all the above. I have a plan, but how it works is I've done all I can do today--and that burns my ass. Cause now it's on somebody else--somebody at the mortgage company who doesn't care about me or my kids and won't rush to adjust my numbers a little bit, somebody at the tax office who has to crunch my numbers and get back with me, some hiring official, and some customer who hasn't placed an order yet.
Y'all know I hate every piece of that, right? See, if I had patience, I would take the scriptures and let them marinate while I listen to the guy across from me scrape that BOWL WITH HIS FORK and it wouldn't bother me this much. If I had patience, I would barely notice the pit of my stomach churning from frustration with the job application process that has me handcuffed to this place, and I would sit here and write something phenomenal instead of thinking of what I didn't do yet, or what I can do. If I had patience, I would undoubtedly be better off all the way around. But I don't have it yet.
So anyway, I know you're thinking how much of a brat I am, but some of you probably realize I'm doing what anyone in a learning situation should do--upgrading internal processes to accept the data coming to me, and having growing pains because of it. Naturally, we artistic types do it differently than others, because there's always so much going on upstairs. I got this lesson watching Kyle go about his day once. He's learning, and his brain tells him to try stuff all day long, then here I come telling him to be still, or stop, or wait, or something equally as dry. But there's so much to do! I try now to understand that, so instead of asking him to do the impossible, I give him a project. He loves a good project. I'm sure that's how Jehovah keeps me from hurting myself all day every day. Today I find myself without a substantial enough project because my life is out of my control. Or so it would appear. Then it occurred to me...most of the phenomenal writing I've ever conjured came from extremely uncomfortable situations, and overcoming those. Pray for me. I just need a tiny bit of patience to hold it together long enough to conjure some more phenomenal. And when I do, it will help so many others who read the story I write. Please, and thank you.
From the mind of:
Tonya D. Floyd
All over the place...
Tags:
circumstance, debt, faith, family, finance, life, overcoming, patience, project, success, trial, triumph, writing
Posted at: 12:50 PM | Add Comment
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