I was thinking about some decisions I need to make, and I thought, Jesus said at Matthew 16:26: "For what benefit will it be to a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul? or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" It occurred to me that at times pursuing a certain course or choosing a particular set of battles is just like that--the thing you're desperately seeking may leave you devoid of some rather important parts of yourself. What am I talking about? I'm saying whether it be a sucky, stressful job you stay in because of whatever benefit you call yourself getting in due time, or a relationship you stay in waiting for the other person to change, or a marriage you hold on to hoping things will be like they once were, or a fight you choose thinking you'll win big this time, or whatever--you can put so much time, energy, and so much of yourself into it with no real guarantee that you'll get a favorable outcome. After a while, you can look back and think to yourself I can't believe I'm still here, doing this, fighting for what? I'm so tired....
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Good morning all. After much conversation with myself and my Creator, I've decided to stop being a selfish control freak and submit my third book for publication. Those thoughts I put together over three years must now come to light, because like I said the other day, people need something--and I don't ever want it to be said that I had nothing to say. Part of my purpose is sharing, which may or may not reach a large-scale audience, but from this list, my blog on versatili-t.com, my contacts at work, and my growing Facebook list, I cannot possibly be overlooked.
So, I'm on my way to work now, and I'm just gonna push send and let the book people sort out the details this time. I wrote the words; they can package them up nicely for me. I feel better already. Stay tuned....
From the mind of: Tonya D. Floyd, A mind is a terrible thing to waste. So are the pictures one's mind is able to draw for others. www.Versatili-T.com
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Small reminders count.
June 23, 2009
"So let us not give up in doing what is fine, for in due season we will reap if we do not tire out."--Galatians 6:9. I saw that attached to an email last night, and slept like a baby. Funny, some of the things occupying my mind at night just went away with that promise. All the fighting I was doing in my dreams was about a perception certain people were getting away with something, and it bothered me to see that they just seem to go on in their idiocy, which affects me. Yeah, it's easy to forget that it's not my place; I just don't like feeling helpless or taken advantage of. Work in progress.
I mean, every time the IRS takes their cut out of my pay for that bill I didn't create, I lose a little perspective. Whenever a bill comes for a medical copay I didn't incur, I lose a little perspective. Every time I fork over whatever amount for whatever because I know nobody else will, I lose a little perspective. When someone says something to me and we both know they're bull..., I lose a little perspective. And each time I hear...
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So anyway, I was thinking it's time to do something new. Old stuff keeps creeping into my mind when I'm off guard--mostly when I sleep. It would appear I have unresolved issues somewhere. I try to offset them though. I've learned that evil can't occupy my mind when there's so much to look forward to, but the tricky part is when you find yourself in a holding pattern and you have no way of changing the outcome yourself. Perhaps that's my control issues resurfacing, but no amount of frustration or maneuvering I can come up with will change my current wait. So I need to replace that space I keep my frustrations in with something else. But what? I'm trying to stop spending money, but when I feel like this, buying stuff feels so good. I've already been eating better; lost 20 useless pounds since December. I watch Food Network, diY and HGTV to get new ideas. I visit the babies when I need a pick-me-up. We go to the library and get the suggested readings. I read informative materials to add to my "useless knowledge" people always call me asking for. I stay away from depressing news stuff. I mean, I already...
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You've heard that you should just keep your mouth closed if you have nothing nice to say. And I gotta tell you I haven't had an abundance of intelligent, wonderful, or positive things to share here lately. I've actually been trying to figure out some things in my own life that rob me of sleep and have me dreaming about constantly fighting somebody. It's usually the same couple of somebody's too. I know over the years I've offered tidbits on how to turn things around, pick yourself up, hold it together, and on and on, but I never said it would be easy to do any of the above. It really is a process, and I'm deep in mine.
I have noticed a new trend though. I remember when I started sending out my thought for the day, my list was kinda short and people were like "what is she talking about now," but lately I seem to get more than a few during my day from different people--they're on Facebook, in both my in-boxes, and I get the occasional text message too. Apparently people recognize that people need something, and some people are willing to share what they've been...
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It seems to be all about haters today--Tigger is on the radio talking about them, and earlier I had a few thoughts about the same topic. Then the email came, and I'll get back to that. Let's just say for a second that I can accept it when "little people" do their best to belittle me and my efforts, because my rewards come in various forms, and I have no shortage of blessings. But then let's forget for a brief moment that humility is a prerequisite, and speak on how sometimes situations can make us feel so undervalued, misused, and downright indignant that we seek not only praise for what was accomplished, but tangible, valuable, and downright loud 'n clear acknowledgments that other people get to witness. "GIVE ME MY DUE!"
I'm saying I'm a winner--a formidable opponent, tenacious bulldog, or whatever else you can think of that says if she takes it on, she plans to do it better than it's ever been done, and you will remember her name. I'm saying in my home life, work life, at school, with my kids at school, whenever and wherever I go, I'm either all up in something, to win it, or I couldn't...
Whenever one of my kids is in trouble, I get a few different reactions from the people in my circle. My mother gives her view of why they did it, along with a creative suggestion about what I should do about it; some people hear about it and comment that they're just acting like me, with a chuckle because they know how true that is; certain folks always comment that they're acting like me with a more ominous tone of condemnation, as if I've scarred my children with my ways or thinking or whatever. For the most part, I take it all in because it does take a village, and only stupid people reject information without at least examining it. I'll be the first to tell you I don't know everything. I even consider what my critics have to say, because, well, my glowing view of T. Floyd is a bit skewed; I'm my biggest fan, but there could actually be something in that negativity that is logical. You never know.
Anyway, while I realize I have flaws, and my children have inherited some of those, I also know that they inherited some pretty remarkable stuff too. See, I used to feel bad when I was accused of...
1. Hello again. It's been a minute, but I got some things on my mind. First, I was talking to a friend yesterday and commands like honor your father and your mother; a husband should love his wife as his own body; a wife should have deep respect for her husband; and love your neighbor came up. Let me tell you that I know how hard, how seemingly impossible it can be to do any or all of the above, because some people are just not worthy--from what we can see. But the commands came from above, and they were just that--commands; not optional. Add to that the level of respect you're supposed to have for your superiors at work, and your instructors, and things can get real tough real fast.
All I can tell you is I'm right there with you on that; the thing is you can't write them off and walk away clean. You do your best, you pray for help, you pray for them, and you refuse to allow their junk to change how you walk. And recall that their problems are not necessarily yours, neither is there any shame--for you--in whatever tasteless, immature, or despicable things they...
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