A friend posted something on Facebook today that reminded me of a status I conjured a few weeks ago. I said, "Before turning your nose up at someone else's potential, or your own, remember that the most precious gems are either dug up from the dirt, or dragged from the bottom of the sea before they sparkle." It's really tough to avoid making snap judgments sometimes, and then there are obvious deterrents to seeing potential in others because of what presents on the outside. But beneath the layers of coal and despite the danger of digging and diving for priceless treasure, people still value those gems enough to seek them, and pay top dollar for them too. Why not value people in that same way? Why do some of us insist on discarding people as if they're nothing instead of seeking the gems we all house within us? You've heard the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I'm just saying,.... From the mind of: Tonya D. Floyd www.Versatili-T.com www.ColorsofWomen.com
So yesterday I joined the ranks of the Fabulous 40's, women who look good and most likely feel good about themselves at least partially because they look good. It's not as complicated as it sounds. But to some, neither is a priority because of whatever big ticket items they're concentrating on at this time in their lives. As for me, I opt in to boosting my opinion of myself, and doing things I may not have had to do in the past (in my youth) like toning exercises or walking several times a week, or eating more sensibly. I look around at the women I know, and some of them appear to have it together--but I know that for some of them this is just a front. Some of the tells are heavily-packed makeup that I see them touching up several times a day, the ones who won't let others see them eat, the hairdo that's so hard, I wonder how they sleep on that stuff, and the clothes that appear to say sexy but in reality say "If you look at these parts of me, maybe you won't notice the parts I'm trying to hide." Those are usually the...
[More]
Relationships are like business transactions--or at least that's how I prefer mine. I am accustomed to researching the other party, outlining terms--together, discussing rewards and compensation, negotiating everything we can think to include, and even discussing penalties for stepping outside the lines. Rarely do I enter any partnership or collaboration haphazardly.
I did, however, become a member of such an unstructured situation somewhat recently due to circumstances beyond my control, along with "I want it" syndrome. Didn't read the fine print first. Yeah, that blew my mind too. I have been in touch, trying to negotiate something more structured, but that's probably not gonna happen. So on to the next one.
Anyway, I've been ranting this week about the sucky customer service I've been experiencing lately and it made me think about other things in that light. What I realize is though there may be a limited number of options available to me right now for what I'm seeking, research will undoubtedly turn up options I didn't know about, and perhaps I can break my services up and use multiple providers to get what I need. One thing about me is I'm loyal; I will stick with the one who...
[More]
Women are always saying they don't need a man to validate them. Okay, I don't know what they mean by that exactly, and it's probably different for each woman, but let me play devil's advocate here briefly. Adam was on earth alone, the only one of his kind. He saw the animals paired up and eventually he got his own mate, designed just for him. They were to do some very important things with the land, and with themselves. Follow me now.
Woman was designed for man, to be a complement to man, and they were to fulfill each other's needs--the design was perfect, you know. When they sinned, God said to Eve, "your craving will be for your husband." I didn't make this up; Genesis 3:16, people. So while some of our more forward-thinking, ambitious predecessors sought to expand women's rights and changed the world, and though that's all good, know that we were made for men, and therefore feel it when they are absent from our lives. We feel it when they are present in our lives too, and don't we feel all the more powerful, sexy, desirable, and feminine when we have a man of our very own? ...
If you're wondering why you are missing something, or if you feel like you’re less than whole, or if you’re waiting for something good to happen in your life, perhaps you can speed up the process of getting whatever it is you’re lacking by offering kindnesses to others in the meantime. It’s possible--and probable--that your good things are on the way, but perhaps you just need to remember to focus on giving rather than receiving. Even if you’re someone who often helps others out, helps old ladies cross the street, or donates whatever to whomever, you could be overlooking the obvious, and that could be holding you back.
We don’t usually get to choose our own assignments to better us. They’re chosen for us, and when they present themselves, we must view them as opportunities for growth and move accordingly. And don’t worry if you feel you can’t do it; just ask for help and it’s there. If we choose to reject these assignments or ignore them, we hold up our own blessings. It’s like when we as parents instruct our children to do specific things, and they choose instead to do what’s more pleasant or easier, or to do...
Continuing on the thought from last week about purging files from my life, it took longer than the weekend, but I have identified what needs to go. I figured I should share this with you so you can decide if there's some cleaning you need to do. So, here are the categories I came up with.
There are certain parts of your long-term memory and day-to-day that require archiving--holding onto it for later use, just in case, maybe like you hold on to tax files for a few years until the audit likelihood is clear (maybe a functional relationship with a co-parent). Some parts you can delete altogether like junk mail (flirtations from losers, arguments with an ex-). Other parts you place in a hold pattern until you figure out what to do with them, or how you may need them today or tomorrow (new relationships, budding friendships, people who make you smile); there's something to it, but you just can't justify deleting it cause you can't get it back once it's gone. Then there's stuff you have held on to for so long, it's way expired, nobody will ever need it again, and you're just afraid to let it go...
I was thinking about my current job, how I got to this point, and what I need to do next. It occurred to me that people place different values on their versions of success, and I tried to figure out what I now consider a measure of my own. It's true I'm not exactly where I once thought I would be at this age, but I realized through the different stages, phases, and episodes of my life, I've done quite a few things I never knew I could or would. Then I got to thinking how just like changing majors in college, I've had to adjust for some adjustments around me and find a whole different direction.
Okay, for those I've lost and will lose soon, let me ask you what does success look like? Take a person who makes large commissions off customers in sales, and is miserable in his/her job, but makes six figures and can afford a big pretty home with all the accessories and amenities. Then take another person who is a school teacher, living her life-long dream of teaching our youth and making a difference, is blissfully happy in her job, but only makes a fraction of that, and would...
[More]
My past keeps trying to catch up with me, mostly people from my past actually. Only they can't catch me because I'm busy, doing things to improve my way of life, status in life, secure a better life for my kids and me, and our place of residence. I just don't have the time; I thought I would after I took that last final exam on Monday, but still I keep it moving. On to the next thing, and later for you. Basically. It's really nothing personal, but I have to think about what will happen to my kids should something happen to me. That means I don't have the luxury of chilling out. I have stairs to climb, toward something, and I gotta do it while I have the health, energy, and strength to.
Okay, that could easily sound like stroking my own whatever, but the point is that there's something you could and should be doing, but are you doing it? Focus. Head up, eyes forward. But do keep it moving forward. If you look around and you're still doing what you were doing last time you looked around, it's time to be making some kind of...
[More]
