I was thinking about some decisions I need to make, and I thought, Jesus said at Matthew 16:26: "For what benefit will it be to a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul? or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" It occurred to me that at times pursuing a certain course or choosing a particular set of battles is just like that--the thing you're desperately seeking may leave you devoid of some rather important parts of yourself. What am I talking about? I'm saying whether it be a sucky, stressful job you stay in because of whatever benefit you call yourself getting in due time, or a relationship you stay in waiting for the other person to change, or a marriage you hold on to hoping things will be like they once were, or a fight you choose thinking you'll win big this time, or whatever--you can put so much time, energy, and so much of yourself into it with no real guarantee that you'll get a favorable outcome. After a while, you can look back and think to yourself I can't believe I'm still here, doing this, fighting for what? I'm so tired....
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