"So let us not give up in doing what is fine, for in due season we will reap if we do not tire out."--Galatians 6:9. I saw that attached to an email last night, and slept like a baby. Funny, some of the things occupying my mind at night just went away with that promise. All the fighting I was doing in my dreams was about a perception certain people were getting away with something, and it bothered me to see that they just seem to go on in their idiocy, which affects me. Yeah, it's easy to forget that it's not my place; I just don't like feeling helpless or taken advantage of. Work in progress.
I mean, every time the IRS takes their cut out of my pay for that bill I didn't create, I lose a little perspective. Whenever a bill comes for a medical copay I didn't incur, I lose a little perspective. Every time I fork over whatever amount for whatever because I know nobody else will, I lose a little perspective. When someone says something to me and we both know they're bull..., I lose a little perspective. And each time I hear...
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So anyway, I was thinking it's time to do something new. Old stuff keeps creeping into my mind when I'm off guard--mostly when I sleep. It would appear I have unresolved issues somewhere. I try to offset them though. I've learned that evil can't occupy my mind when there's so much to look forward to, but the tricky part is when you find yourself in a holding pattern and you have no way of changing the outcome yourself. Perhaps that's my control issues resurfacing, but no amount of frustration or maneuvering I can come up with will change my current wait. So I need to replace that space I keep my frustrations in with something else. But what? I'm trying to stop spending money, but when I feel like this, buying stuff feels so good. I've already been eating better; lost 20 useless pounds since December. I watch Food Network, diY and HGTV to get new ideas. I visit the babies when I need a pick-me-up. We go to the library and get the suggested readings. I read informative materials to add to my "useless knowledge" people always call me asking for. I stay away from depressing news stuff. I mean, I already...
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You've heard that you should just keep your mouth closed if you have nothing nice to say. And I gotta tell you I haven't had an abundance of intelligent, wonderful, or positive things to share here lately. I've actually been trying to figure out some things in my own life that rob me of sleep and have me dreaming about constantly fighting somebody. It's usually the same couple of somebody's too. I know over the years I've offered tidbits on how to turn things around, pick yourself up, hold it together, and on and on, but I never said it would be easy to do any of the above. It really is a process, and I'm deep in mine.
I have noticed a new trend though. I remember when I started sending out my thought for the day, my list was kinda short and people were like "what is she talking about now," but lately I seem to get more than a few during my day from different people--they're on Facebook, in both my in-boxes, and I get the occasional text message too. Apparently people recognize that people need something, and some people are willing to share what they've been...
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It never ceases to amaze me how certain sisters in my life can relate so closely to what I'm going through or have been through, and how right on cue we have the right words for each other because we understand--completely. It's almost like we live in parallel worlds. That's just another example of how God works in my life. I always knew that people were in my life and space for a reason, but it's reinforced when I talk to them how very easily I can be understood, how not so out there my thinking is, and how everything aint for everybody and some people just couldn't possibly get it just because they don't have the right stuff. Well, that was rather interesting to me based on a conversation I had today, and every time I call this particular person.
But anyway, now I should be calling somebody asking what I need to do to avoid shaking this little boy at my house, looking for my real son in there. Talk about acting out! I don't know what he's rebelling against at this point (8 years old), but every time he comes back from his scheduled weekends away,...
